Mark Twain quotes

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If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
Mark Twain
Truth
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
Mark Twain
God
First
Idiots
Practice
School
In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
Mark Twain
Spring
Weather
It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.
Mark Twain
Bible
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
Mark Twain
Trouble
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native criminal class except Congress.
Mark Twain
Class
Congress
Facts
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
Mark Twain
People
Doubt
Fool
Open
It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected.
Mark Twain
Lie
It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
Mark Twain
Speech
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
Mark Twain
Courage
World
Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
Mark Twain
Will
It is not best that we should all think alike; it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races.
Mark Twain
Difference
Opinion
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
Mark Twain
Party
Pity
It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
Mark Twain
America
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
Mark Twain
Golf