Woody Allen quotes | Thousands Of Quotes

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You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

Woody Allen

Want

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

Woody Allen

Job

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

Woody Allen

Wife

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.'

Woody Allen

Sleep

Want

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.

Woody Allen

Love

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Woody Allen

Want

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

Woody Allen

Practice

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.

Woody Allen

Gold

Marriage is the death of hope.

If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.

Woody Allen

Profit

Right