My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.
The manic pursuit of success cost me everything I could love: my wife, my three children, some friends I would have liked to grow old with.
If I win, I'll take my wife and buy her a whole new wardrobe. If she's happy then I'll be happy.
There are certain times I don't want my picture taken. If my wife's stepping out of a car and it looks like it's going to come out an indecent picture, don't I have a right to object?
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.