I want to make it faster than anyone has ever made it before. I'd like to be a legend by the time I'm 25.

I have worked with a great many comedians as opposed to comics, although I have worked with comics as well, I make the distinction.

I realized that I needed to be anonymous on the street and somebody else on the stage. I had tried to put my street self on the stage, but what they want is an actor on stage.

I don't want to be able to see the audience.

I want to do drama, light comedy, the whole range.

George Burns was the father I never had.

I'm more married to Sandy now than when we were married with the legal document. We're still married as parents.

I don't care if I never do another TV show in my life.

I am now a turtle. Virtually everything I own is on my back and suffice it to say I am one ton lighter and therefore 2,000 pounds happier. All houses are gone.

Everybody, sooner or later, will have to go under the knife. Let's hope they make out as well as I did.

Everybody thinks I'm at death's door, but I'm not. There's nothing seriously wrong with me, and my heart is in 100 percent working order. Anything else you may hear is a damn lie!

Any fool knows that bravado is always a cover-up for insecurity. That's the truth. And on that note, I'll say goodnight. God love you.

A group or an artist shouldn't get his money until his boss gets his.

A comedian's body is funny as well as his mind being funny, his whole personage is funny.

I don't know what it is to love the way they love-they would jump off a bridge for me. I can't do that. I can only say, I owe you.