W. C. Fields quotes

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Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. Fields
Night
Woman
It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
W. C. Fields
Money
Wrong
It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.
W. C. Fields
Courtesy
Woman
If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
W. C. Fields
Prosperity
Will
If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
W. C. Fields
Life
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. Fields
Being
First
Fool
Succeed
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
W. C. Fields
Sex
Nothing
Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
W. C. Fields
May
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. Fields
Man
World
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. Fields
Day
Smile
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
W. C. Fields
Cure
Sleep
The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
W. C. Fields
Living
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. Fields
Man
There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
W. C. Fields
Liquor
Today
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. Fields
Time
Man