W. C. Fields quotes

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I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
W. C. Fields
Water
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. Fields
Father
Electricity
Prison
State
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
W. C. Fields
Hate
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. Fields
Food
Wine
I like children - fried.
W. C. Fields
Children
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. Fields
Fish
Water
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
W. C. Fields
People
Sense
I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
W. C. Fields
Habit
Water
Will
Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
W. C. Fields
Lies
Living
Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.
W. C. Fields
Hell
Vote
Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
W. C. Fields
Death
Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. Fields
Heart
Will
Worry
Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
W. C. Fields
Children
Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
W. C. Fields
Animals
Children
All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
W. C. Fields
Family
Men
Women