What's another word for Thesaurus?

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.

If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?

If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?

My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.