There is a saying in Baltimore that crabs may be prepared in fifty ways and that all of them are good.
There is always an easy solution to every problem - neat, plausible, and wrong.
Time stays, we go.
To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia - to mistake an ordinary young woman for a goddess.
To die for an idea; it is unquestionably noble. But how much nobler it would be if men died for ideas that were true!
Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.
The only really happy folk are married women and single men.
We are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine.
The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.
We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband.
What men value in this world is not rights but privileges.
When a new source of taxation is found it never means, in practice, that the old source is abandoned. It merely means that the politicians have two ways of milking the taxpayer where they had one before.
When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands.
Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.