Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.
Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.
Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.
Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil.
Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.
If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been away on a vacation.
Men are not punished for their for sins, but by them.
An optimist is a fellow who believes what's going to be will be postponed.
Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught.
Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.
Getting talked about is one of the penalties for being pretty, while being above suspicion is about the only compensation for being homely.
Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.
I don't look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans.
It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.
If capital and labor ever do get together it's good night for the rest of us.