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Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.

Kin Hubbard

Nothing

Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.

Kin Hubbard

Man

Now

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil.

Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

Kin Hubbard

Guest

If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been away on a vacation.

Kin Hubbard

People

Vacation

Men are not punished for their for sins, but by them.

Kin Hubbard

Men

An optimist is a fellow who believes what's going to be will be postponed.

Kin Hubbard

Will

Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught.

Kin Hubbard

Habit

Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.

Kin Hubbard

Life

Fun

Getting talked about is one of the penalties for being pretty, while being above suspicion is about the only compensation for being homely.

Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

Kin Hubbard

People

Honesty

I don't look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans.

It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

If capital and labor ever do get together it's good night for the rest of us.