George Burns quotes | Thousands Of Quotes

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If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.

George Burns

Happiness

Woman

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

George Burns

Age

Women

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.

George Burns

Age

Day

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked.

George Burns

Dying

Now

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

George Burns

Money

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

George Burns

Sex

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.

George Burns

Light

Old

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.

George Burns

Time

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

George Burns

Quick