Fran Lebowitz quotes

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Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching.
Fran Lebowitz
Day
In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
Fran Lebowitz
Life
Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully.
Fran Lebowitz
Children
Clothes
Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.
Fran Lebowitz
Business
Dance
Old
Opinion
Popular
Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
Fran Lebowitz
Children
Fun
Opponents
Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
Fran Lebowitz
Iraq
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
Fran Lebowitz
Women
Being
Football
Interest
Play
Woman
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
Fran Lebowitz
Buying
As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
Fran Lebowitz
Life
Will
Andy Warhol made fame more famous.
Fran Lebowitz
Fame
Famous
There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
Fran Lebowitz
Death
Peace
Behavior
Nervousness
Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
Fran Lebowitz
Sex
Children
Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
Fran Lebowitz
Life
Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.
Fran Lebowitz
Life
You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
Fran Lebowitz
People
Hope
Will