History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
I believe we shall come to care about people less and less. The more people one knows the easier it becomes to replace them. It's one of the curses of London.
I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.
Fidelity - a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
Impartial - unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy.
Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.
Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
Revolution, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.