In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks.
If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?
If a job's worth doing, it's too hard.
I get mail; therefore I am.
Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.
Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.
Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the company. The safest approach is to remove all useful information.
Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure.
Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
The longer you work here, diverse it gets.
You don't have to be a "person of influence" to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.
The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.
The best things in life are silly.
The only risk of failure is promotion.