Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of expense and aggravation later in life.

No one ever committed suicide while reading a good book, but many have tried while trying to write one.

A promising young man should go into politics so that he can go on promising for the rest of his life.

Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography.

Byrne's Law: In any electrical circuit, appliances and wiring will burn out to protect fuses.

Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least.

Doing a thing well is often a waste of time.

Getting caught is the mother of invention.

Memorial Service: Farewell party for someone who already left.

Everything is in a state of flux, including the status quo.

One reason people get divorced is that they run out of gift ideas.

Winter is nature's way of saying, "Up yours."

Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell.

There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they start and so on.

The purpose of life is a life of purpose.