There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that the best way to make friends is to do something terrible and then make amends.

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.

Too clever is dumb.

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.

The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.

The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.

The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them.

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

Women would rather be right than reasonable.

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.