One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.

Love is what you've been through with somebody.

Sixty minutes of thinking of any kind is bound to lead to confusion and unhappiness.

Speed is scarcely the noblest virtue of graphic composition, but it has its curious rewards. There is a sense of getting somewhere fast, which satisfies a native American urge.

Sophistication might be described as the ability to cope gracefully with a situation involving the presence of a formidable menace to one's poise and prestige (such as the butler, or the man under the bed - but never the husband).

Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that can happen to a man.

Nowadays men lead lives of noisy desperation.

My opposition to Interviews lies in the fact that offhand answers have little value or grace of expression, and that such oral give and take helps to perpetuate the decline of the English language.

The appreciative smile, the chuckle, the soundless mirth, so important to the success of comedy, cannot be understood unless one sits among the audience and feels the warmth created by the quality of laughter that the audience takes home with it.

Man has gone long enough, or even too long, without being man enough to face the simple truth that the trouble with man is man.

The difference between our decadence and the Russians' is that while theirs is brutal, ours is apathetic.

Love is the strange bewilderment that overtakes one person on account of another person.

Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.

Laughter need not be cut out of anything, since it improves everything.