Groucho Marx quotes | Thousands Of Quotes

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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.

Groucho Marx

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Groucho Marx

Marriage

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

Groucho Marx

Mother

Children

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

Groucho Marx

Time

Talk

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

Groucho Marx

Play

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.

Groucho Marx

Television

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

Groucho Marx

Forget

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

Groucho Marx

Age

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

Groucho Marx

Trying

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

Groucho Marx

Evening

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

Groucho Marx

Mind

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Groucho Marx

Time

Television

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

Groucho Marx

People

Care