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You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.

Earl Wilson

May

Today's accent may be on youth, but the stress is still on the parents.

To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain; tell a man it's deductible.

This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.

The man who didn't want his wife to work has been succeeded by the man who asks about her chances of getting a raise.

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen.

He's an honest man - you could shoot craps with him over the telephone.

Earl Wilson

Man

Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.

Earl Wilson

Gossip

For the parents of a Little Leaguer, a baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown into innings.

Earl Wilson

Baseball

Parents

Experience is what enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

Earl Wilson

Experience

Mistake

Ever notice that the whisper of temptation can be heard farther than the loudest call to duty.

Benjamin Franklin may have discovered electricity, but it was the man who invented the meter who made the money.

Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back.

Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.

A woman may race to get a man a gift but it always ends in a tie.