The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time.
Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
The best time to make friends is before you need them.
When you've been locked up in a mental institution, people are going to ask questions. It was OK, because I didn't have to act perfect all the time.
People who don't know me have opinions about me. That's the part that's very hurtful. Because how do you form an opinion about somebody if you've never met them or spent any time with them? So it's all based upon hearsay or things that they've read.
I used to live a very social life and never spend much solitary time looking at birds or reading.
If I didn't try to eavesdrop on every bus ride I take or look for the humor when I go for a walk, I would just be depressed all the time.
If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile.
There was a beautiful time in the beginning when I just did it and didn't analyze the consequences, but I think that time ends in everyone's work.
Humor is such a wonderful thing, helping you realize what a fool you are but how beautiful that is at the same time.
I just wanted to be a guy who could earn a living as an actor, and I did that for a long time.
The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery.
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.
There was no "before" the beginning of our universe, because once upon a time there was no time.