Children rarely want to know who their parents were before they were parents, and when age finally stirs their curiosity, there is no parent left to tell them.

Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it.

I gave up on new poetry myself 30 years ago when most of it began to read like coded messages passing between lonely aliens in a hostile world.

In America, it is sport that is the opiate of the masses.

Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down.

It seems to be a law in American life that whatever enriches us anywhere except in the wallet inevitably becomes uneconomic.

Live by publicity, you'll probably die by publicity.

Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

Objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories: those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.

People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure.

Reporters thrive on the world's misfortune. For this reason they often take an indecent pleasure in events that dismay the rest of humanity.

Poetry is so vital to us until school spoils it.

In America nothing dies easier than tradition.