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Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.

Robert Orben

People

Temptation

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.

Robert Orben

Home

Children

If you can laugh together, you can work together.

Robert Orben

Work

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

Robert Orben

states

United

In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh.

Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.

Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.

Robert Orben

Inflation

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.

I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.

Robert Orben

Day

More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!

Robert Orben

Love

First

Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it's filled with wisdom. Sometimes it's filled with feet.

Robert Orben

Wisdom

Feet

Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.