I know as a manager you have to abide by the chairman's decisions. But his decisions were this team, that team, this player, that player. The chairman is a control freak.
I had to accept that I was an alcoholic, that was the main thing. I think you've got to. But I try not say that I'm an alcoholic. I prefer to say that it's a disease I've got.
I fought back, got injured again and I had to have another operation. I got down and depressed and I think I was drinking more than I should. Well, I know I was.
I never refused an autograph, never refused to buy someone a drink. Now I'm learning to say I've got other things on, instead of doing it and wondering why.
But if I wasn't playing, I would drink Saturdays, then Sunday, then Monday. Then I would try and train and it was no good, then have another drink just to pass the day away.
Anyway, how can you sack anyone who still hasn't got a contract. I'll be there for the game and I'll stand behind the dugout giving instructions to the players from there. They will respond to me more than the next manager.
I thought I did well for someone who has been out for 10 or 11 months. Then I was sub against Liverpool and tried to play for the guys and work on my fitness.
