Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.

A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to it.

Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel.

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

I can remember Doris Day before she was a virgin.

I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on.

I have given up reading books; I find it takes my mind off myself.

I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left.

I'm a study of a man in chaos in search of frenzy.

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.

I have no trouble with y enemies. But my god damn friends... they are the ones that keep me walking the floors at night.

There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.

I've given up reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself.