Women won't let me stay single and I won't let me stay married.

The public has always expected me to be a playboy, and a decent chap never lets his public down.

My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.

My father was never anti-anything in our house.

It isn't what they say about you, it's what they whisper.

I like my whisky old and my women young.

Any man who has $10,000 left when he dies is a failure.