It costs a lot to sue a magazine, and it's too bad that we don't have a system where the losing team has to pay the winning team's lawyers.
I don't eat much meat, fish, or poultry.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Comedy is tragedy plus time.
Celebrity was a long time in coming; it will go away. Everything goes away.
But I don't begrudge anybody, because I know how hard it is to have that dream and to make it happen, whether or not it's just to put a roof over your head and food on the table.
But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh.
Because nobody goes through life without a scar.
I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up. I wish my grandmother had done the same. I wanted my girls to know me.
Adolescence is just one big walking pimple.
Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own.
It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That's why we're here, after all, to help others.
When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go.
Well, I don't know how astute I am, but I did want to be a journalist when I was growing up.
We don't stop going to school when we graduate.