By the time I would have graduated, at 22, I was a writer and featured performer on Saturday Night Live.

But I think you can make fun of anything as long as it's funny enough.

I enjoy the last quarter of all basketball games.

And then before going back for my sophomore year, I decided to change my major to arts and sciences, and my dad cut a deal with me: He said if I'd quit school he'd pay my rent for the next three years, as if I were in school.

You know, I think whatever a comic talks about onstage is all they talk about offstage.

Well, I'm not afraid to say something if I think it's funny, even if it's harsh or racist.

They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.

The first time I did stand-up was the summer I was 17.

Relations between black and white would be greatly improved if we were more accepting of our fears and our feelings and more vocal about it.

I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.

It shows the truth - that the real meaning of a word is only as powerful or harmless as the emotion behind it.