Ryan Stiles quotes

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If I were as much of a man as my woman, I'd be my wife.
Ryan Stiles
Wife
Man
Woman
If I were a man with gills, I would be a fish!
Ryan Stiles
Man
If I could rap, that would be a sensation, but I can't, you see, I'm just a Caucasian.
Ryan Stiles
Rap
I'm Jim Phillips, I have multiple personalities. I'm also a skindiver, a puppeteer, and I was the tenth president of the United States.
Ryan Stiles
President
states
United
I'm going to buy some green bananas because by the time I get home they'll be ripe.
Ryan Stiles
Home
Time
I'd rather drive the yellow brick road, you wouldn't happen to know of a rental car place around.
Ryan Stiles
Car
Road
I can't sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. I'm shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982.
Ryan Stiles
Control
Accident
If I were but a man who would be tall, I would be me.
Ryan Stiles
Man
I look like Walt Disney just threw up.
Ryan Stiles
Disney
Never interrupt me when I'm eating a banana.
Ryan Stiles
Eating
Never trust sheep.
Ryan Stiles
Trust
Sheep
The first rule to living in America is 'Stop tap dancing, you fool!'.
Ryan Stiles
America
Dancing
First
Living
The sky, the sky beyond the door is blue.
Ryan Stiles
Sky
What do I do when we're not taping? Sit in a dark room and refine my plans for someday ruling Earth from a blimp. And chess.
Ryan Stiles
Chess
Earth
When it comes to making love, I may not be the best, but I'm damn gouda.
Ryan Stiles
Love
May