A baby is a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.
The hall-mark of American humour is its pose of illiteracy.
Only man has dignity; only man, therefore, can be funny.
It is so stupid of modern civilisation to have given up believing in the devil when he is the only explanation of it.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
When suave politeness, tempering bigot zeal, corrected 'I believe' to 'one does feel'.
A loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.