Mort Sahl quotes | Thousands Of Quotes

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My life needs editing.

A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.

People tell me there are a lot of guys like me, which doesn't explain why I'm lonely.

Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference.