And it's not that going out for a hack is wrong or bad, I certainly don't view it as that; it's just that there's something about the dressage, being put through your paces, that makes you better.
When really you've gone to drama school and rep and then you've come to London and gone to auditions and you've worked, solidly, for years. But that all gets forgotten.
For sure, you don't believe the good stuff. I mean, the good stuff is just insane - wacky. If you don't take it too much to heart, it does help when the negative stuff hits. And you know the negative stuff is coming. It's got to! What comes up must come down.
I feel that David took a risk with me. I have a sense that by starting off in the theatre and going off to do films you are seen to sell out in some way. I don't hold truck with that, but you can't stop people from feeling it.
I found it all very scary. This fairytale gets built around you - as if you've been walking through the streets and then Sydney Pollack sees you and goes, 'I'll put you in something!'
It was a fantastic learning experience and OK, I got slammed because I wasn't Audrey Hepburn but you could have predicted that, really, if you'd opened your eyes wide enough.
That made me feel very disturbed, because it never seemed to be about how much hard work was involved. Ever. It was about... 'hazel eyes'. It does help if you can brush that stuff off.
At first I was a bit indignant about it, and then I realised, 'No, that's what people want, so that's what is given.' But it's not in your control. It's just what happens to you, and that's what's frightening.
