Joseph Heller quotes | Thousands Of Quotes

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When I grow up I want to be a little boy.

I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.

But that was war. Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents.

Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.

Every writer I know has trouble writing.

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry.

Joseph Heller

Government

War

He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.

Joseph Heller

Literature

He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.

Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about.

I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.

Joseph Heller

Time

Miracles

I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.

The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.

Joseph Heller

Enemy

I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.

There was only one catch and that was Catch-22. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to.

Joseph Heller

Want

When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as "Catch-22" I'm tempted to reply, "Who has?"

Joseph Heller

Saying