Jeff Foxworthy quotes

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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?
Jeff Foxworthy
Babies
Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
Jeff Foxworthy
Present
Pretty
Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip.
Jeff Foxworthy
People
Want
Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
Jeff Foxworthy
People
Being
Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
Jeff Foxworthy
Baby
Being
I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together.
Jeff Foxworthy
President
You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.
Jeff Foxworthy
Moon
Office
Party
Wrong
You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
Jeff Foxworthy
Value
You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
Jeff Foxworthy
Goal
May
You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
Jeff Foxworthy
Education
May
What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
Jeff Foxworthy
Thought
There's no down time any more.
Jeff Foxworthy
Time
The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
Jeff Foxworthy
Years
The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.
Jeff Foxworthy
Job
Wrong
If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
Change