It is the spirit of the age to believe that any fact, no matter how suspect, is superior to any imaginative exercise, no matter how true.

In America, the race goes to the loud, the solemn, the hustler. If you think you're a great writer, you must say that you are.

In writing and politicking, it's best not to think about it, just do it.

I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.

It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.

It's not enough to succeed. Others must fail.

Litigation takes the place of sex at middle age.

Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half.

On 16 September 1985, when the Commerce Department announced that the United States had become a debtor nation, the American Empire died.

Apparently, a democracy is a place where numerous elections are held at great cost without issues and with interchangeable candidates.

One is sorry one could not have taken both branches of the road. But we were not allotted multiple selves.

Our form of democracy is bribery, on the highest scale.

Never have children, only grandchildren.

Fifty percent of people won't vote, and fifty percent don't read newspapers. I hope it's the same fifty percent.

Every time a friend succeeds, I die a little.