Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem.

To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity.

Time is bunk.

If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands.

For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.

He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.

He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher... or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

I seldom end up where I wanted to go, but almost always end up where I need to be.

It is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it... anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.