I have Social Disease. I have to go out every night. If I stay home one night I start spreading rumors to my dogs.
Don't pay any attention to what they write about you. Just measure it in inches.
I'm the type who'd be happy not going anywhere as long as I was sure I knew exactly what was happening at the places I wasn't going to. I'm the type who'd like to sit home and watch every party that I'm invited to on a monitor in my bedroom.
I'm bored with that line. I never use it anymore. My new line is "In 15 minutes everybody will be famous."
Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details.
Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible.
Before I was shot, I always thought that I was more half-there than all-there - I always suspected that I was watching TV instead of living life. Right when I was being shot and ever since, I knew that I was watching television.
Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery.
During the 1960s, I think, people forgot what emotions were supposed to be. And I don't think they've ever remembered.